uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
