Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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