Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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