Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
