Pappa wants mamma naked
i would punch a child for taco bell
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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