she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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