he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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