Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
