burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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