you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
