return my video game
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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