i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
