I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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