I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think people are normalizing furries
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
