i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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