Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
