I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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