if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
