When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
