I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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