I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
