Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
