well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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