I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize
