she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
