i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
