My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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