Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
