Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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