Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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