So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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