The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
