We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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