i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
