Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
