I feel great
I just peed on a car
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
