This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
