after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
