Do you still have your period?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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