Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
