question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My balls are so social today.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
