she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
