You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
