I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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