Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
