It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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