I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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