But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
