I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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