Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
