great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
