We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
God I need to hump something, right now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
