You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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