Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
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