i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
