I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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