...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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