its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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