I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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