She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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