I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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