This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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