Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she smelled like a LAN party
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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