His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
